Ketchum, ID.-- The Chisley Brothers (Shep & Will) couldn’t get laid in a Mexicali whorehouse with a handful of hundreds.
Growing weary of their chronic social underperformance, the brothers went into action. “At first I thought, shit, we need some beards. But even after we started rocking some sweet hipster facial hair, nothing improved." Lamented Will, "I knew something deeper was at play.”
As fate would have it, upon entering the Cellar Pub last Friday, they were greeted with the unfamiliar “Dude, looking sharp” and immediately invited over to a table full of their more socially capable peers. Shep credits the dramatic turnaround to his newly acquired White Sox hat with the brim in pristine unbent condition. Will also acknowledged the social redemption noting that, even though he has never been to Chicago, “the black on black Sox logo is too dope to deny, particularly since the linear brim really ties my glasses into the rest of my head...it just brings it all together”.
“We’d been going about this all wrong.” said the brothers. “The flat brim is the ultimate equalizer. No matter how big of a dipshit you may be, the flat brim supersedes prejudice and immediately elevates oneself to a level beyond reproach.”