Idaho Historian Determines that Beloved Mountain Man Buckskin Bill Was Actually Kind of an Asshole

January 28, 2015

    

 

        Boise State Professor of History Dr. Garth Honeycutt's research into Buckskin Bill, an eccentric often described as a "hermit" or "recluse", who lived on the Main Salmon River from 1932 to 1980, has led him to the conclusion that "Bill" was really sort of a douche. In his remarks to the Idaho Humanities Council yesterday, Dr. Honeycutt said, "the common perception of Buckskin Bill is that he was one of the last remaining authentic vestiges of the Mountain Men that once populated the northern Rockies. Turns out, he was born Lawrence Windermere, and he was from goddamn Connecticut. Really not much of an outdoorsman. Insisted on clean cloth napkins at every meal. Constantly complained about how his feet were cold, his hides were itchy, and how dusty everything was. Couldn't stand the sight of blood. He had a pathological fear of rodents that prevented him from doing any trapping - he ate mostly instant ramen. But that didn't stop him from constantly giving advice on setting trap lines to anyone in the Salmon River corridor who would listen."

         

 

       Ultimately, not many would. Dr. Honeycutt's research was partially based on extensive review of the personal journals of his peers in the Mountain Man community. Honeycutt concluded, "Let me be perfectly clear: he wasn't a recluse by choice - none of the other Mountain Men liked him. He was known for being pedantic and condescending, in one notable case lecturing for hours on the best way to blow up a dead mule with a stick of dynamite, despite the fact that he had never run mules and was terrified of dynamite. He was also the kind of prick who show up at your cabin unannounced in the dead of winter, not bring anything to eat or drink, get snow all over your floor, and stare at your wife's ass."

        

        Honeycutt concluded the Q&A period by saying, "Don't even get me started on Frank Church. Jesus Christ. That fucking guy."

       

(Photos top to bottom: - Buckskin Bill posing in vintage Tina Turner wig - Foghat roadie gently caressing Bill's back in July 1978 - Buckskin Bill playing with a sword)

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