Sun Valley Preemptively Sues Itself: "Surely we've fucked something up." states Mayor Briscoe

June 20, 2015

 

 

 

       Sun Valley--  Sun Valley, ID Mayor Dewayne Briscoe held a press conference this morning to announce the town council had voted unanimously to pursue a lawsuit against themselves.

     

       According to court filings, the lawsuit alleges 'gross mismanagement' 'total ineptitude' and 'wanton dumbfuckery'.

       

       Riding a steady stream of legal actions brought against the town dating back to 2012, the Mayor acknowledged, "Hell, that's just the tip of the iceberg. There's tons of stuff we've fucked up. Using city funds for personal use, falsifying documents ...that's baby shit compared to what goes down up in here." Briscoe continued, "Apparently, there was once some sort of manual that we could follow on procedures and overall how to govern that was lost back in 2009. We've been flying blind ever since ...It's hardly our fault."

     

       Briscoe, who bares a striking resemblance to what I imagine Phil Spector's sister might look like, stated, "It's not a matter of 'if' we fucked something up. It's a matter of 'when' and 'how bad'."

 

        The press conference ended abruplty after a reporter asked Briscoe if he was worried that the thing on his head might jump down, run off into the woods and get eaten by a mountain lion.

 

     

 

 

 

 

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