SCOTTeVEST Founder Scott Jordan Awards Self Trophy at Private Ceremony in Own Living Room

July 30, 2015

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          SCOTTeVEST Founder and CEO Scott Jordan forced his wife, poodles and cleaning lady to sit quietly on the couch while he presented himself with a Trophy for Awesomeness on Wednesday morning. Inscribed at the base of the 4 foot tall jewel-encrusted cup read simply  'You're #1'.

 

         After a 45 minute acceptance speech thanking and congratulating himself, Jordan slid down a fireman's pole directly into the seat of his 3-wheeled Pocketmobile and drove through town screaming "I'm Pocketman, Bitchez!! Fuck yeeaahh!!".

 

        Jordan was soon stopped by Ketchum police and cited for violating the town's 'Public Buffoonery' ordinance.

         

 

 

UPDATE:  The Marten Stuffer was able to obtain a copy of the police radio transcript through a Freedom of Information Act request detailing the entire incident:

 

Officer-    7mary3 to dispatch, there's some dipshit in a fancy go cart doing burnouts and screaming obscenities at the intersection of Sun Valley and Main.

 

Dispatch-   What a fuckin' asshole

 

Officer-    Big time. Praying he gives me a reason to night stick him real good.

 

Dispatch-   (laughing) Have fun 7mary3

 

 

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