Valley anglers are on high alert as a branch of the notorious Central American gang, MS-13, has infiltrated the local drug scene along with many of the established fishing routes. IME fishing report guru Bill Mason was the first to sound the alarm..."Forget that these thugs are establishing new distribution in the valley for meth, heroin and, unfortunately, low grade cocaine…. these bastards are Spin Casters."
Angler Stan Kunkle has been visiting his favorite fishing hole near St. Luke's Hospital for over 15 years . Last Sunday he had a nasty run in with MS-13 General ‘Mepps 00’. Tattooed from head to toe, wielding a 7 foot heavy duty fiberglass rod and Shimano open bail reel, Mepps 00 made no attempt to yield to Kunkle’s visible Silver Creek Outfitters logo cap and accompanying $4000 worth of fly gear.
At first I thought. “Surely this guy will recognize my Silver Creek paraphernalia and back the hell off but then he zinged a giant rapala lure about an inch from my noggin’ before I even had a chance to let out some line and retaliate with my hopper/dropper combo.” Kunkle continued, “Knowing I was out gunned, I high tailed it back to the shop to tell the crew”.
Traditionally, the WRV has been dominated by two fly gangs, the Silver Creek Posse and the Lost River Boys. These rivals have learned to coexist while peddling similar yet varying versions of overpriced Zebra Midges and Adams Parachutes. Being down with the Silver Creek Posse or Lost River Boys, your favorite fishing spot might only be invaded a few times a year by some jack wagon tourist who fishes for an hour before he's breaking into the Perry’s packed lunch and calling it a day.
“These MS-13 guys are all jacked up on speedball and pulling fish out every other cast with goddam stink bait”, says Kunkle. “To make matters worse, they’re corrupting the youth of the valley. The other day I caught my 7th grade son with a box of treble hooks. Do you know what those can do to an adolescent rainbow trout? Let me tell you, it’ll fuck them up.”
Sheriff Gene Ramsey’s newly announced Gang Task Force has mapped out what they think is the hierarchy of the local MS-13 Gang. “The leader is the notorious ‘Mepps 00’ whose backed up by two extremely violent capos, ‘Señor Catch & Kill’ and the ever so fishy ‘Big Spoon’.” stated Ramsey. “Our first goal is to shut down their supply routes. The heroin and meth are coming in from LA and the Arizona-Mexico border, while their massive supply of Daredevils and Salmon eggs have been traced to a Bass Pro Shop in Kansas.” Ramsey continued, “The obvious threat is the use of non-sporting fishing equipment coupled with a total disregard for the catch and release regulations. We’re working closely with Fish and Game, the ATF and DEA in what we’re calling Operation Casting Net.”
A confident Ramsey concluded, “We should run this gang out of town by ski season. However, if these fuckers are snowboarders, our problems may be just beginning.”