Valley Residents Prepare for Pets to be Confiscated by New Animal Shelter

October 11, 2018

 

       Construction continues on the new $16 million Animal Shelter of the Wood River Valley. Although there is no firm date for completion of the 30,000 square foot facility on it's 20 acre campus (which will include amenities such as ‘cat cafe’, dog splash park, groundhog yoga and a ferret scrubber) Valley residents are preparing for their pets to be rescued from their current squalid living conditions.

         

        West Ketchum resident and avid car waver-atter Smilin' Pete Feinberg says while he’ll be sad to lose Stanley (his husky-mix companion of 7 years) he understands it’s for the best. “I live with my Gam Gam in a modest 650 square foot duplex with a small fenced in backyard.” stated the Boston native. “If I could provide Stan with a 24 hour doggy concierge, 6000 thread count organic cotton bedding and a monogrammed terry cloth robe, I would. Unfortunately, I just can’t compete with that.”

 

         The Hunger Coalition and Advocates issued a joint statement regarding the new facility: "While we're happy to know that a one-eyed feral cat will soon be able to receive 'happy ending' massages in the comfort of a mansion, we'd like to remind the generous givers in our valley that we can barely keep up with the ever growing demand for assistance from local humans seeking luxuries such as 'food' and 'shelter'."

         

        Jerome native, irrigation mechanic and FarmersOnly.com member Rod Keller, shocked and confused by the $16 million price tag of the new facility, offered an alternative solution for managing the stray animal population of southern Idaho. Keller estimated that he and his friend Randy could take care of the problem over a holiday weekend if provided with 10 cases of Schlitz Ice tall boys, a ‘hat full’ of Oxy and a couple thousand rounds of .223 ammo.

 

** for more information on the Animal Shelter project go to www.wagthefuture.com **

 

** for more information on FarmersOnly.com go to www.farmersonly.com **

 

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