Nature Conservancy to Auction Off Silver Creek Preserve

An ldaho institution, the Silver Creek Preserve near Picabo, is in jeopardy of going to the highest bidder. In light of the national debate surrounding the proposed selling of public lands to state governments and private interests, the Nature Conservancy is looking to cash in, as well. Self-proclaimed as the world’s leading conservation organization, the Nature Conservancy has successfully preserved unique ecosystems and fragile tracts of land and water since 1951.

Unbeknownst to most Nature Conservancy donors, the organization has long been in the business of selling off land in exchange for other land. Gannett mayor Kip Bushnell stated, “Apparently the Conservancy is selling off all of it’s Idaho assets and will concentrate more on places like Hawaii and Belize, basically, places with good surfing and diving.”

Conservancy CEO, Mark Tercek, was unavailable for comment, but issued this statement:

“The selling off of land and other assets is nothing new to how the Conservancy operates. If you actually read our annual report and quit looking at the pretty pictures of grinning volunteers and giraffe babies, there’s a back page detailing our financial performance with a revenue line item ‘Land Sales and Gifts.’ Silver Creek just ain’t worth it anymore, I mean c’mon, the place sucks. Hey everybody, look there’s a bunch of water coming up through the ground, let’s save it! Well, not anymore. Money talks, bullshit walks.”

Frackquest, a Tulsa, Oklahoma investment group, has expressed interest in purchasing the 851 acres along Silver Creek. Company spokesman Harold Ellis stated, “We just don’t have clear water or massive trout like this in the Midwest, and our partners and clients need a new place to hunt and fish. This is ideal for an exclusive, world-class sportsmans’ club. Hopefully, the acquisition will be executed, and you can say ‘goodbye’ to barbless flies, and ‘hello’ to treble hooks and Powerbait™. We project it’ll only take three years to fully fish out the native trout, and introduce a more appealing sports fishery, such as largemouth bass and walleye." Ellis concluded, "Idaho.....you're welcome.”