Erection Remotely Triggered in Apple’s Mens Room

At the time of the incident, erection conditions were listed as ‘CONSIDERABLE’ on all aspects of Apple’s Bar & Grill mens room wall due to widespread persistent layers of vintage ‘Lange Girls’ pin-up posters.

The D1 erection ran a total of 4.3” from it’s crown down a narrow inseam of Helly Hansen ‘PowderKing’ bibs. Only minor injuries were reported. Alcohol was cited as a contributing factor.