'It was amazing up there' Reports Dude So Baked He Can Barely Fucking Stand Up

By Chip Burley

Warm Springs area-- Todd Barnsley issued a mysterious ski report to a group of friends yesterday afternoon during an apres session at Apples Bar and Grill.

"Total butter and super carvy top to bottom" stated Barnsley who looked as if he'd set some sort of world record for cannabis consumption. "I probably skied Squirrel and CanCan like a hundred times."

Barnsley then suddenly departed by wandering off into the woods and a number of his peers immediately began to question not only his description of said piste conditions but also suggested he may not have been on the mountain at all.

Dale Teague, a friend and occasional roommate of Barnsley said, "First off, it was icy as fuck, so that was just plain crazy talk. Second, I got a text from a dude who saw Todd at Frenchman's hot springs like 3 hours ago saying he was acting super weird and kept talking about needing some tater-tot nachos ASAP."

After some additional analysis/speculation, the group reached the general consensus that Barnsley was completely out of his tree and probably just needed some time to chill.