Valley CPA Blames Toxic Mixture of Vodka, Sprite for Unruly Behavior at Motley Crue Concert

Wood River Valley accountant, babysitter and Marten Stuffer contributor, John Brody, was briefly detained by authorities after failing to comply with directions during a recent Motley Crue concert at the Taco Bell Arena. The 43 year old single white male (pictured left) was cited by the Boise State PD with an ‘Exclusion Notice’ for failure to follow directives during a public event. In addition to not being allowed within 500 feet of churches, nuclear plants and Chuck-e-Cheese parking lots, Brody can now add the BSU campus to the list.

Mr. Brody, currently employed by SCOTTeVEST and Sun Valley Supersitters, issued a written statement regarding the incident:

Per Exclusion Notice No. 0831, subject John R. Brody, violation of university policy: Failure to follow directions.

"Interpret it as you will, but after a major kick-ass, first act

showing by Alice Cooper, I went and bought my $50 concert shirt and eighth vodka/Sprite. My friends from the Arthur Andersen days....yes 4 CPAs getting awesome.....bought me a $100 floor ticket. Well, apparently there's red tape on the floor that I can't step over while doing what I call "rock kicks"....(think David Lee Roth sans bow staff.) I'd never been warned once for said violation, however, my friends had been warned numerous times as I basked in the glow of borderline alcohol poisoning gawking at hawt heavy metal chicks.

Well, the Crue busts into a Sex Pistols cover and I go nuts. I mean.....frickin' crazy, Bruce Lee with numchucks dance party. Before I know it, I'm tackled by three men and ushered out of the arena, in a Greco-Roman wrestling hold reminiscent of the Brody-n-Arm, dragged past hundreds of concert goers including my estranged step sister. I heard her yelling my name as they shoved me outside, it was an awkward family moment. With head pinned to a concrete Taco Bell arena exterior wall, Boise Police are called in.

Fast forward, I'm surrounded by 4 security guards and 3 Boise PD officers. They have their story, and I have mine. During my defense monologue, I realized my speech was severely slurred, and decided to comply with their policy of leaving BSU property."