Marten Stuffer Seeks Full Time Intern, Fluffer
We are seeking a 40 hour per week, full time intern with a positive 'can do' attitude who isn't scared to get their hands dirty (literally) and is just generally up for anything.
Applicant must be proficient in:
- web design
- joint rolling
- animal husbandry
- Kung Fu
In addition to items listed above, the applicant is required to wear a French maid outfit (regardless of gender) and be on call 24/7 for numerous tasks including but not limited to:
- Play ping pong
- Slow dance
- Light to moderate yard work
please submit resumes to email@example.com
**Be Advised** The Marten Stuffer totally discriminates based on age, race, gender, sexuality, general appearance, STRAVA times and party legs. We foster a weird, hostile work environment. There is something deeply wrong with all of us. I can already tell you're gonna be a pain the ass and this internship isn't a good idea. Fuck off.